Why should I buy a Ford? Why...now?

I saw an ad on TV the other day for Ford that really got me thinking. Why would I buy a Ford?! And of all the times to buy one......WHY NOW!?!??!?!?! Luckily, our good pal Mike had an answer for me.

Below is a picture of Mike after literally burying someone alive.

Who here does not fit in?

If you said Tyler Hansbrough, you're correct! The rest of the men pictured above are straight. I can't stand Tyler Hansbrough. Look at that picture of him. What a fag. Cool, you've got a bruise. He looks like he's about to rape someone. Probably a guy. I'm cool with white basketball players who hustle and are aggressive, just not players who do it in such a douchy way and the whole ESPN nation won't shut up about when he will amount to nothing in the NBA. He's not that great, he's just a white guy who happens to be a pretty good college player because he hustles. Get over it. He's not athletic enough. When will a cool, athletic white guy come to basketball? Maybe never. Oh well...

What a Budweiser Ad Should Look Like

Fuck Budweiser.

A Tribute to JUT-202

JUT-202 has brought me some of the best and worst memories of my life, and I don't think I'd want it any other way. Well...yeah I would. I sure do have some great stories now though. From the Valleyfair holding cell to the Independence impound, JUT-202 has been there all the way. In fact...JUT was there for the fireworks ZING!ing and POW!ing around the lake, for the lawn driving and loopards, and also for the offroad raging at Creek Valley. Let's not forget the egging night or the night Ben glazed the sides with a fresh coat of frozen vomit after trying to dine and dash at the local Perkins as well. Let's just say JUT has been there for a good chunk of the things we've done. Ever since JUT-202 was retired I haven't been in trouble since. Maybe it was a curse. Or, perhaps.........a blessing? That's for you to decide.

Roomies!!

Due to a request, I am going to provide a little background on those who reside at 901 Oakland. Hopefully this doesn't draw any more comparisons between Scunt's blog and my own, but I'm sure it's going to happen. Here we go.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Paul: Paul's a great guy...when he isn't trying to "get at" your Ruffles. His interests include body hair, trying to win in NBA 2k9, and buffalo wing theft. Don't use his good towel to clean up spills or loan this man anything you want back. He plans to be a social worker later in life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will: When Will isn't at the SERF...well, then he's probably at the shell. But if he isn't at either of those places, then he is a great dude to get to know. He enjoys pouches and memorizing obscure statistics.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Skiv: Skiv comes off rough and rugged, but upon viewing his iTunes library, you will see he has a soft, more feminine side. He likes New York sports, butchering movie lines, and abbreviating last names.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RJ: RJ is quite the character. He likes commisioning fantasy football leagues and peeing sitting down. Don't plan on finishing a game of NBA Hangtime with him or beating his Rockets. He is also, like Paul, a notorious Ruffle bandit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gregg: If you want to roll with Gregg, come equipped with beats and blunts. He likes a good rhyme sesh, "hoo has", and Tiki. He may drive a mini-van, but don't act tough, or you may get thrown through the living room television. He played sports in high school...or atleast I think.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeff: Jeff is quite the dude himself. He prides himself on being the only Milwaukee Bucks viewer and his following of the Jewish religion. He enjoys eating food and tasty sets of lips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Well, not a ton to say here...just that I'm really fuckin' tight.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop wearing these

These foot cancers are right towards the top of my list of things currently pissing me off. They look like something a 3rd grader should wear outside to jump in puddles, not something a college girl should wear in an attempt to appear presentable. I just don't understand them. Rainboots are really not necessary, just wear shoes like everyone else. If it's fashion you're after...you've failed. Miserably. Throw these eyesores in the nearest dumpster.