Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Dad

My dad is a great man. His name is Dadmiral Nelson. It's rumored that he came out of the womb drunk and instantly demanded Pepsi to make one of his famous Admiral and Pepsi concoctions. He then hit on the nurse and got kicked out of the hospital. When he was old enough he built a ship so he could sail around drinking and not have to worry about shit. I'm not sure who my mom is, but I'm guessing she was one of the Dad's many drunk hookups. I was abondoned at a young age but stay close with my dad by purchasing his rum every weekend. The drunken times he gives me are better than any love he could have provided by sticking around, and I'm sure he knows that. To give you a better idea of my family, here is my family tree.





Saturday, December 20, 2008

Welcome, bitches.


There are few things gayer than blogs, so of course, I made one. I know many people out there just can't get enough of what I have to say, and I certainly didn't want to leave them hanging. Look forward to riveting inqueries on a wide range of topics that are important to the highest degree. It'll be "blogsome." That's a spin on the word "awesome" if you couldn't see what I did there...so enjoy!